My Own Darkness
by dutchtreat
Summary: You know that to give in to what you want, you have to give up a part of who you are. Damon/Elena.


AN: I don't own these characters. One shot. No spoilers. Set somewhere in the future (Elena's POV). Character "death" ;) Reviews are appreciated.

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**My Own Darkness**

_I got lost in the night, without the light  
of your eyelids, and when the night surrounded me  
I was born again: I was the owner of my own darkness._

Pablo Neruda – Sonnet LVII

-o~0~o-

Eternal...you think, that is what forces of nature are, and you shiver as the light of day slowly loses its battle with the coming evening. Almost black clouds are gathering, and the wind is quickly chasing away the warmth of early Spring. It's getting darker now and you turn around to see where your almost mindless wandering has brought you. Relieved you take in the all too familiar sight of the ruins of the old church.

You are here.

As the first raindrops begin to fall you walk around the forlorn walls, feeling the rough stones under your fingers as you support yourself to step over an old tree root. It's been a while since the last time you were here, and deep down you wish you could've stayed away. But some places -_and_ people- are just too hard to ignore, or to forget; no matter how far and in whatever direction you run, you know that something -some one- will always lure you back.

Destiny.

The rain is falling down more heavily now and the silhouettes of swaying trees and withered headstones are performing a _danse macabre_ to its rumbling crescendo. Mesmerized by the images you almost scream as the screech of a bird abruptly pierces the eerie atmosphere that hangs so heavily in the air. You quickly turn around, your almost hypnotic state abruptly broken, and stumble backwards until your body roughly crashes into a wall.

_"So you came back,"_ some one suddenly whispers in your ear. He is close behind you, and you have to hold on to the wall to keep your balance. He has briefly scared you, but you knew he would be here, knew that he still could not deny you anything. Like you need him, he needs you, _craves_ you and somehow both of you have always known that this fated moment would come.

Turning around slowly your heart skips a beat when your eyes finally meet again. You are suprised that, despite the pouring rain, you can still see every emotion in his intense gaze. His eyes are revealing so much more than you have ever believed possible; so much more than he would ever allow any one to see. But perhaps that is why they are so clear now. He wants you to see his hunger for you, he wants you to know he still cares, but most of all he must want you to see his doubts about you being here – his doubts about being here himself.

You can even taste his frustration when he suddenly draws you in for a bruising, almost violent kiss. A kiss you return with more desperation than you would ever admit. You knew that when you came here, _your_ decision had been made. Your life has been suffocating you, has been too empty for too long. The people around you, no matter how close, can not give you what you need, can never understand this endless burning desire.

His kiss turns softer and he gently pushes you against the wall. His fingers follow the raindrops running down your arms and he takes your hands in his. It's then that you know he too realizes that it is impossible to turn back. Impossible to stop what is about to happen. You know that to give in to what you want, you have to give up a part of who you are. And you can feel _his_ surrender when he lightly kisses your neck, his hair is wet against your skin as he sighs your name.

_"Elena."_

A single tear, hidden by the downpour, secretly slips down your cheek as you acknowledge his feelings. There is a storm brewing inside you as fierce and powerful as the one raging around you, and you hold onto him like he is the only reason you get not picked up by the wind to be tossed around through the air. You wrap yourself around him and moan when he steps between your thighs.

He does not hesitate anymore, does not allow you to slip away from him again. You know that he has been waiting for this moment for so long and you will not and _can_ not deny him any longer. So you simply nod as he raises his hands, caresses your breasts and starts to peel away the wet clothes from your body, his movements more urgently with each piece he manages to remove.

Your desire flares, lit by the fire in his eyes. Your numb fingers start to fumble with the buttons and zipper of his soaked outfit. Impatiently you try to bare as much of his skin as he almost effortlessly does with yours, but your attempts fail. Your frustrated growl makes him look up at you with that damned all-knowing smirk, but he understands, and without further encouragement he practically rips away all that is still left between your naked body and his.

You feel the raindrops on your body, your face, your breasts and slide between your legs, and your hands follow your gaze down his body, where the rain traces patterns across his chest. You briefly close your eyes and lift your face to the sky. Completely giving yourself over to this feeling of being part of the storm, an inmense heat forming in the pit of your stomach like thunder rolling through the air, it's like being part of nature itself.

You are brought back to reality by the feeling of his hands on you. They lift you up and against him; crushing you between the wall and his body. Your bodies, slick with the water now between them, slide against each other and when you open your eyes he is pressing against you, pushing inside you. He kisses you and you can taste the desire in his kiss, can feel the moment the skin under his eyes begins to crack, feel the fangs come out and you shudder in his arms as his mouth leaves yours and kisses down your neck.

You whimper at the sudden sharp pain of his teeth breaking the skin of your throat, but before the feeling gets too intense his mouth is gone and he kisses you again. Strangely enough you enjoy the weird sensation of tasting your blood on his tongue, and when he offers you his wrist you cannot wait to taste him; realizing that the desire makes his blood taste differently than that time when he forced it on you.

His hips now frantically thrust against and into you, and you drink from him. Your body pulses and you gasp as his teeth sink into your skin again. You are taking him in completely now and he is taking more and more of your blood, making dark spots dart before your eyes. He is yours and you are finally his, and when he screams your name into the wind the world shatters around you and nothing else matters anymore.

The last thing you see, before his hands close around your neck to end your mortal life, are the raw emotions on his face and the flash of distant lightning reflecting its unique, unearthly blue in his matching eyes.

-o~0~o-

As the force of the winds subsides the world is left in disarray; broken...and ready to start all over again – you are like that now; torn to pieces and brought back to life. You awake in a world that is the same, but forever changed, _darker_ – You are forever changed; like a storm, like Damon - free, hungry, passionate...Eternal.

-o~0~o-

The End


End file.
